Fun on a Flane
by snapealina
Summary: Silly Snupin story :D Remus is trying to get Severus to do something fun! Slash implied, but not descriptive. Beware of Silly!Lupin :D Please R


Disclaimer: I sadly don't own these characters. They belong to JKR. If they were mine, I would be in the middle seat! LOL

One line is also from the movie SpiceWorld – the movie. Ten points to your house if you can find it :-)

**Fun on a Flane**

- Absolutely not!

- But, Severus…

- I said no!

- But I really want to do this!

- Why?

- Because I think it would be fun!

- Fun?

- Yes, Severus, fun! You know, like ha ha ha ha haaaa. It's when you get that great feeling inside you and you walk around smiling and feel really good.

- I don't do fun.

- No kidding…

- Why can't we have "fun" right here?

- Severus, come on. Don't be such a bore!

- You knew what you got into when you chose me. I don't do things like that.

- Obviously…

-----------------------------------

- Severus?

- Yes.

- Pleeeeeeease!!!

- Goodnight, wolf!

-----------------------------------

- Morning.

- …

- What, no smile?

- …

- No coffee?

- I don't _do_ coffee anymore.

- Oh, so you're talking to me now.

- …

- Why is this so important to you, Remus?

- I've never been on a proper summer holiday before.

- Neither have I, but you don't hear me going on about it.

- I know, but you're… you!

- And what's _that_ suppose to mean?

- Hello, I'm Severus Snape. I like my life boring, without any action or enjoyment.

- I've had enough action in my life, and I didn't exactly hear you complain about lack of action or enjoyment two days ago, Wolfie…

- You know what I mean!

-------------

- Fine, but I'm not doing it the Muggle way!

- But that's the whole point, Severus!

- I thought the point was to go somewhere else.

- Yes, but I've never really travelled before.

- There's a reason us wizards have the Floo, apparition and the Portkeys. It's to _not_ having to spend hours travelling.

- But where's the fun in that? I've never been inside a flane before.

- It's called a plane.

- I've never been in one of those either.

- Merlin.

- Think about it, Severus. To sit in a big Muggle-made machine, flying high above everyone and everything. Like a bird.

- I don't like birds. Birds are for post. Not travelling.

- We're not travelling by bird. We're travelling by flane.

- Plane.

- Yes, whatever. Flying high… up in the sky.

- Well, whoopee!

- What?

- I don't like heights.

- Well, who would've thought? Severus Snape scared of heights.

- I'm not scared. I just don't like it much. I like staying on the ground.

- But I'll be there looking after you, my dear.

- Well, you better be. I'm not going alone.

- Are you… are you saying that we're going?

- Yes, fine. But we're travelling by magic to the airport. I don't do busses and trains as well!

- Ok, honey! Oh… that made me so happy. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Severus!

- Calm down, Remus.

-------------

- How do you always manage to get exactly what you want?

- A wolf never tells, Severus…

- Yes, you're a real Mr. Mystery, Remus…

----------------

- I'm _not_ wearing this!

- Why not?

- I look ridiculous!

- You do not!

- I feel cold!

- Well, you look hot!

- Haha, funny. Why can't I wear my normal clothes?

- Because _that_ would look ridiculous.

- Why?

- We're going on a Muggle holiday, Severus. Muggle don't use black buttoned-up robes, remember.

- They should… Couldn't you at least have found something less… colourful?

- It's normal to use some colours, Severus. Especially on holiday. Besides, where we're going you would burn up if you wore our usual outfit.

- Where _are_ we going exactly?

- Hawaii!

- Hawaii?

- Yes, Hawaii! We both could do with some sun. You should definitely work on your tan Severus. You're almost as pale as a ghost.

- Tan? Me? You _must_ be crazy!

- Yes, but that's why you love me…

----------------------

- Merlin. What have you packed it here? These things weigh a ton!

- Just the bare necessities.

- Bare necessities?

- Yes, you were the one who insisted on bringing all those books.

- I like to read.

- I know, Severus. But they have books on Hawaii too, you know…

- Whatever. Wingardium Levi….

- NO STOP!

- What?

- We can't use magic.

- Why not?

- This is a Muggle holiday, remember…

- Are you serious?

- Of course. Muggles don't use magic to carry their luggage.

- You have got to be joking.

- No, I'm not. I've already let you get away by using the Floo to get to the airport, but I draw the line here.

- But no one will see us.

- It doesn't matter. I'll know that we cheated. Now come on, honey. Carry those bags, you big strong hunk of mine.

- Er… what about you?

- Me?

- Yes, aren't you going to carry one?

- But Severus, baby. You know it was a full moon yesterday. I don't have the strength to carry anything.

- Of course not… so convenient… It's always that time of the month…

- What did you say, darling?

- Nothing…

----------------------

- See, Severus, this isn't so bad.

- That's easy for you to say. My back hurts!

- But look at these comfortable seats? They even have little tables.

- It's too crowded. And the man next to me smells like a compost heap.

- Oh, that's the charm of travelling, Severus.

- Easy for you to say, you're not sitting in the middle seat.

- Now, look. Here's a waitress.

- I think it's called a stewardess, Remus.

- How do you know all these things, Severus? I thought you had never been on a flane before.

- Plane. And I haven't. Remember the books?

- Oh, now the stuart-lady is doing a little dance. Look Severus. Why is she doing that?

- Shut up and listen, Lupin!

----------------------

- I thought you said this was going to be perfectly safe, Lupin.

- It is, Severus.

- Then why is she explaining how to jump out of the plane? And this yellow vest isn't going to do much good in mid-air. Stupid Muggles.

- Take it easy, Severus. It's just a precaution. And besides, we have our wands if anything should happen.

- Now, that's comforting…

- Oh, it's moving, Severus. It's moving. Isn't this exciting?

- Shut up, Lupin.

----------------------

- Lupin? Remus? Hello? Are you OK?

- I….I…. They didn't tell me about the shaking…

- It's perfectly normal.

- No, Severus. We're going to die!!!

- No, we are not, Remus.

- How do you know? You've never been on a plane before.

- Wow, you actually got it right.

- What?

- Nevermind. It's going to be all right, Remus. Just calm down.

- I can't. This is not fun! I want to go home.

- Well we're stuck here now.

- What?

- We can't leave a plane in the middle of take-off.

- Why not?

- We just can't. Now calm down.

- Hold my hand, Severus.

- Exuse me?

- HOLD MY HAND!

- Ok, ok, ok.

--------------------

- Now, isn't this fun, Severus?

- It's a blast…

- That stuart-lady was really nice to bring us those drinks, wasn't she, Severus?

- Yes, if only I've had the chance to drink mine…

- Sorry about that, I was thirsty.

- So was I…

- And these nuts are delicious. Want one?

- No thanks, knock yourself out.

-----------------

- Severus? Are you awake?

- I am now…

- Severus, have you ever heard of the Mile-High club?

- The what?

- The Mile-High club. It's a Muggle flane club.

- Plane.

- What?

- Muggle PLANE club.

- Oh, so you've heard of it.

- Lupin, seriously…

- Well, do you want to?

- Want to what?

- Become a member of the Mile-High club.

- How does one become that?

- Follow me to the bathroom, and I'll show you.

- Lupin, you're drunk.

- Yes, sir I am! So are you coming?

- Why in Merlin's name would I go to the bathroom with you, Remus?

- It's fun!

- Stop it with the "fun" part already, wolf. How could sticking two men into a tiny bathroom on a plane be any… Oh…

- Follow me, Severus.

------------------------

- I'll admit, Remus. This _was_ fun!

- I told you, Severus.

- My arse is going to hurt for days, though.

- I bet it would…

- From the faucet, Remus. The faucet.

- Did you hear that?

- What?

- Someone knocked.

- Quickly, get dressed!

- Where's my shirt?

- I have no idea.

- Eeeewww.. It's in the toilet.

- Disgusting.

- Oh, snap. Someone's opening the door.

----------------------

- I can't believe that stuart-lady refuses us to fly with this airline again. What did we do?

- Are you serious, Lupin?

- What? We only did what the Muggles do on these flanes.

- Planes, Remus. It's called PLANES!!!!

- No need to get so angry, Severus.

- Merlin, you are impossible.

- I know, I can do a Memory Modifying charm on everyone on this plane, so that they forget everything they saw.

- And how are you going to explain that you're sitting here without a shirt?

- Think positive, Severus. Positive!

- Whatever, wolf. But I don't think that magic is going to work in this place.

- Why not?

- First of all, you're to drunk to manage the simplest spell without disaster. And a plane is so isolated and levitated so high, that the magic probably won't work up here.

- Nonsense, Severus. OK EVERYBODY, LOOK AT ME AND LISTEN CAREFULLY. OBLIVIATE! …

-----------------

- Oh, snap!

- That's it! We're taking the Floo home!


End file.
